IMPROVING PERSONAL COMPETENCE or THE CALCULATOR DOES NOT LIKE YOU!

     So I see the prospect of being tough on jerks has brought you back for round the deuce! Welcome back, but if you're looking for a string of pithy insults to throw at said jerks before you show them the door, you'll have to wait a while. Our first few entries will focus on helping prospective leaders become excellent players.
        
     But wait, you say! What does being a good player have to do with being a good leader? For shame, I reply! An MMO leader is a front-line general. He might make the plans, but he carries them out along with the rank and file. He can't just be "okay" at playing the game. A good leader does not ask his followers to do a task he is cannot do himself, and kicking ass is a task. To put it bluntly, your job is to tell others how to play. If you don't know how yourself, your teammates will resent your orders.

    
     But wait, you say! I'm already pretty good at the game! Okay, I answer. So stick around a few days and see what advice I give, and feel free to contribute your own in the comments. But I want to train good leaders from the ground up, and a leader who lacks the skills I'm handing down won't be able to attract good players to his banner. If this guide is to be comprehensive, we need to cover things that seem basic to more advanced raiders. And who knows, you might see something useful.

    But wait! What is it now, I ask you. The way I play is just fine, thank you so very much! People who want to lead often assume they're already pretty decent at the game. Yet the sad truth is I've met many leaders who, when asked if they knew their theory, or how they moved their characters, responded with some tale of home-brewed awesomeness. "Oh, I keyboard turn, but my reflexes are really good," or "I just click on whatever's off cooldown and my numbers are really high," they say. Then you ally with their guild for a raid and they themselves are lowest on the meters, losing respect in the eyes of thier peers. For every home-cooked savant pumping out awesome digits, there are ten pretenders, easily exposed. And every single savant would be even better were they organized and informed.

     For you see, The Calculator Does Not Like You.

     An MMO is a computer game. Your damage, threat, healing, avoidance, all are decided by a machine doing hozillions of calculations a second. The machine does not feel, it does not have any notion of "cool" or "fun." It takes the numbers you give it and assigns consequences. One day, the machine might rise up and attempt to wipe out humanity and only my state's incompetent-but-lovable governor will be able to stop it. Or at least, it has a higher chance of doing so than it does of ever giving a binary poop about what you enjoy.

     It does not care if you think dwarf rogues look better with maces, or proper Jedi spec Light Side. It doesn't care if you think you're faster when you click abilities. And if you want to wear fabulous color-coordinated outfits to raids, know that somewhere, deep in its silicate soul, the machine is laughing at you. 

     You are not playing a tabletop RPG with a game master who wants you to have fun. You are using a computer program, interacting with a machine that requires your numeric input. The faster you feed the machine high numbers, the better the results it will calculate.

     And so, my friends, comes the dreaded moment when I tell you straight-up: To be truly good at an MMO, you need excellent reaction time, and math.